And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35, that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage five years ago. If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love, then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity.
Many college students and 20‑somethings don’t start dating until after they’ve had sex. That’s the feeling that rises up in my throat whenever anyone asks me the totally non-condescending question of why I’m still single, which I’ve answered so many times in so many tones (“Just haven't met the right guy, I guess! There was the guy who kept taking calls from a number he’d labeled “Happy Happy Fun Time,” which turned out to be his drug dealer. I've met guys in bars, at parties, while snowboarding, through friends, and online via Ok Cupid, Match, Tinder, Hinge, Happn, Bumble, The League, How About We, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Nerve.com, a site for “literary smut” that hosted online personals in that early-aughts dark age before smartphones.I was looking for somebody who was Jewish, because I am and that was important to me. I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men, and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer.So that basically meant there were 35 men for me that I could possibly date in the entire city of Philadelphia.