" No divorced guy wants to be asked these questions. All he knows is, he just got divorced and can only handle the present for right now.
Let time pass and let him breathe and get to the future.
A year before, I had started a public relations company with a friend. I think that happens a little in every relationship. And when that relationship ends after 18 years, you need to find your new normal. Reflecting back on the last year and a half and knowing most of it wasn’t fun.
That was harder than it seemed and life was complicated. You read about divorce all the time and think, not me, no way. Deal with the pain of a break-up which feels like someone died and learn how to live alone. As I write this very first entry, I have tears in my eyes.
"Once this happens, good luck getting your husband to voluntarily put forth effort into anything again—including your marriage! Eventually your man's self-esteem will erode and he'll lose his connection to you. Your house of worship can fill the void: "Many offer marriage workshops and discussion groups," Nations says.
"Meanwhile, there may be other women who are willing to treat him with admiration," Sedacca adds. Or pursue friendships with other happy couples—their dedication may inspire you both.6. If you two can't get on the same page about what to do with your money, it can cause a marriage meltdown, Amatenstein says, "because of the behaviors it leads to, like engaging in power struggles and keeping secrets, like big purchases, from each other." The remedy?
If you really can't find common ground, speak to a financial advisor.7. "Men stay in a marriage as long as they feel it's possible to be their spouse's salvation," says Tracy Thomas, Ph D, a licensed psychologist and relationship coach in San Francisco. The guy recently got out of a long term relationship (his marriage.) He doesn't need a girlfriend who he has to call every two minutes, or who he feels obligated to go out with every Saturday night. Be the girl who takes him to cool restaurants, who suggests an interesting museum, who makes him watch one of your favorite movies he's never seen. Help him remember that relationships are fun and enriching. Just because your marriage ends…doesn’t mean YOU end. You have a new, blank page, and you decide what that story is going to be. This blog is what it’s really like out there when you start over. Sometimes…change is exactly what you need to move forward. I am writing this to help other women who think it’s not possible to move on after divorce.